What I learned in class today… (Rated R) July 16, 2008

I started school again after a (measly) four week summer break.

I learned many interesting things, actually, but I’m going to cut to the meat of the matter.

My art teacher has a ginormous wang.

He seems like a pretty cool guy, very much an artist type. A tiny bit unkempt, enthusiastic, tight plain tee shirt and even tighter black jeans. Really tight jeans. Really.

I was so completely distracted, I spent a good five to ten minutes of class trying to figure out if that huge tubular bulge on his upper right thigh was for real. Like, maybe he honestly has a roll of quarters in his pocket? No, a roll of coins wouldn’t curve like that. A banana? No, the jeans are too tight, it would squish. Oh, have mercy, could it be real?

Then I had to contemplate whether he had a prestigious package, or maybe he just really, really liked art, ifyaknowwhatimean. He did describe several pieces of art as "sexy," and, well, who am I to judge?

So, yes, it was an informative day back in school. Far more so than I cared.

(Why couldn’t I have decided on a business degree? Noooo, I gotta go to an art school. Never a dull day, I swear.)

(And, on the off chance he stumbles accross this. Um, does this mean I’m getting an automatic fail? Or automatic A+? I did use the term ginormous.)

I can’t take it anymore. February 1, 2008

This election is inescapable. I didn’t care much about it in the first place. I just watched to see Hil & Bill fuck up some more, which they did. They’re such a car wreck. And I maybe wanted just a little to kind of sort of gaze upon John Edwards. But now he is out of the race, so whatevs. Write in Christopher Robin for all I care. Serious-lah. I can’t get behind any of these ‘tards. And yet everywhere I turn, there they are. Where ever I go, whatever I do, they will be right there waiting for me. So to give myself a break from all that, here is

MIKE ROWE PETTING A PENGUIN!

But wait, there’s more. The penguin is then CRADLED IN MIKE ROWE’S LAP!

I just ovulated. Also, hee hee tummy pudge! *poke*

Inject Me With Your Love October 28, 2007

Speaking of Hugh, I just realized he hasn’t gotten any love here yet.

I blame lattelicious. Slacker!

Hmmm. The guys I posted a few minutes ago are totes adorable, but I definitely have a type when it comes to any kind of long-term devotion.

I’m a picky, picky princess.

Crush Alert! October 28, 2007

Here are two of the many reasons to see “Across the Universe”. I could say something intelligent about the movie, but I’m totes ADD when there are such tasty things about. Maybe later.

My apologies to Mike, David and Hugh if you are troubled by these new additions to the harem. I still love you all and this in no way affects your seniority. Thank you for your patience as I work out the new rotation.

The New New Testament October 26, 2007

I will now read from Syndi’s Text Message to the Feminites, chapter 5, verse 12:

“We need rich men with dead mothers.”

The word of Syndi.

Thanks be to Syndi.

Let us pray….

Save a Ford, Ride a Spokesman October 15, 2007

Okay, I don’t watch commercials so I’m always late to the party as far as that goes. I’m just now getting around to this:

Mike Rowe and a truck? Ditch Joe there, and we’re good to go! All this situation needs is a sleeping bag and some Boone’s Farm.

You know, sometimes I worry that I’m too easy. Then I remember that the proper term is “liberated”.

I totes overlooked the opportunity to make a fully-boxed frame joke. Oops.

More Mulder October 8, 2007

I shall not be outdone by my Blogging counterpart. (and also, I’m having High School flashbacks. Ooh, Mulder! Any man who, when asked if he wants to live forever, answers “Not if parachute pants are coming back in style,” is the kinda man for me.)

Mmmm, apples.

And of course, from the ever popular Tea Time pictures… (avert your eyes, o those with delicate sensibilities!)

There. See? I have officially brought celebrity crotch to the blogging masses. My work here is done. For now.

The Original October 7, 2007

September 10, 1993. My eleventh birthday. I was just minding my business, trying to score some cake and *BAM!*

*PUBERTY SEQUENCE INITIATED*

Man, just look at him! So delicious! WANT!

In Case You Were Wondering October 1, 2007

Yes, I was listening to this song when the blog was named:

Now don’t start saying “Ew, it’s Justin!” or “But they’re objectifyin’ the wymins!”. Your cries will fall on adorable but deaf ears. I say shake ‘em if you got ‘em, ladies! Rent is due! And I LOVE me some Justin. Besides, after seeing this picture of him, I am 100% convinced that he truly does wield sexual-cyber-telekinetic powers and give him full permission to objectify me. Who knew that was under those lame suits?

Love, Exciting and New…. September 30, 2007

Hey y’all!

Thanks for checking out our shiny new blog. Let me set the tone for you:

Just kidding Mikey bear! We totes <3 you.

So me and my besty were talking about getting Mike out of his Dickies, and we said “Hey, we need a blog for our aimless ramblings and celebrity crotch bulge comparisons!” And “She Wants It” was born.

Enjoy!

Hee hee….. I said “Dickies”….