Ah yes, the age old question. Which is more badass, the pirate or the ninja? I have- as I’m sure we all have- thought about this extensively. In fact, it often keeps me up at night. There’s just so much to think about! So many subtle nuances.
But I believe the question is deeper than that… I mean, why stop there? The world contains so much more than just pirates and ninjas! What about robots, samuari, zombies, vampires, mutants, werewolves, aliens- and so much more, so much more.
When sticking to the basics, to me there is no question. Pirates. Pirates all the way. Yeah, ninjas are stealthy, but pirates don’t need to sneak around. They come at you screaming ARRR! at the top of their piratey lungs. Ninjas have shiny throwing stars and katanas and such, but a pirate will kill you with any old thing laying around. A pirate will kill you with the wooden leg of one of his companions fighting next to him, and that pirate will rip off his other leg to beat you to death with, if nothing else was available. Yeah, I’m a fan of pirates.
But… Broaden the spectrum a bit, and the zombie takes the lead. Those fuckers are dead and rotting and will still feast on your fucking brains.
Just pray the world never sees a pirate zombie, or we shall be truly doomed.
